Sunday, April 15, 2012

Week 15 | Marriage

This is a photo of my Nana and Pop who I never knew.  My nana was married for about 30 years before she lost her beloved.  They were married in 1932 in Melbourne.  The dress is amazing and something I would consider that I would wear if I made it down a aisle. 
She never remarried when she lost him in the 60’s and I remember asking my mum why she never remarried and she said my nana married her soul mate.  Her beloved aggie was her life and love.  They had 3 children and my mum was the youngest.  They had a fairly idyllic childhood growing up close to family and the extended family.  My dad always called nana mum because she was that kind of person.

Their marriage is something I think I will always aspire too if I ever go down that path.  I am at the age now where I don’t think I would.  He would have to be a pretty exceptional person for me to consider that.  I think my wanderlust is simply too great and I would need someone to balance that out. Not many people in this world are like that.  Also I don’t think I am strong enough still for that.  Break a heart too badly and it may never repair. 

My parents’ marriage is strong and solid and they love each other so much gives me something to aspire too and are heading towards their diamond wedding anniversary.  They have done it hard with dad away for most of the early years along with a large family. My dad has had the pleasure of walking down the aisle my older sister has been married for almost 10 years, the next oldest has been married for 12 years.  With most of us unmarried but either single or in long term relationships with kids, I am definitely the odd one out in my family but I am ok with that. 

I have always felt that I don’t fit … the black sheep but there was a time when I dreamed and hoped that I would marry.  First with my first true love C, my best friend and the person that really knows me.  He is no longer in my life but for the past four years since he stopped all contact I miss him and that friendship.  

More recently 3 years ago the one that I thought wow this is the one.  I hadn’t really felt that since C.  I had made up mind that he was the one, he was the last man that I would be with, and the man that I thought would love me and support me through everything.  But it was not to be…  I have never really talked about this and won’t.  But love and Ego can’t exist together.  

So my marriage will be to travel and to myself… my next love the new adventures that await, the mountaintops I get to breathe the pure air in and feel alive again.  My marriage to myself where I will promise to love, cherish and honour...  I will work hard to love myself, to cherish myself and honour my values.  

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Week 14 | Haven |

I would have to say that my haven is my bed is my haven… my books iPhone and ipad all live there.  I love my little hiding place from the world.  To escape from real life for brief moments in time.. To get lost in a story and find your little piece of paradise in someone elses words      
This is the image that inspired it all taken by my wonderful friend S from Sunday Gorgeous ...  the amazing talented works of sunday gorgeous and

I love the sunlight and Lily just being Lily ...  perfection

Week 13 | Relax

There has not been a lot of that lately … even struggling been sleeping again which is frustrating me. 
But when I do relax it is getting lost in a movie or a great book or go for a drive… jump in the car and disappear from the world for a while and go see by the ocean for a while. 
Mt Glorious 
Where I did truly relax was overseas and become me again. On top of a mountain and in the beautiful surrounds of fall colours is where I truly take a deep breath in.  
Fall colours 

Week 12 | Mother |

My mum … where do I start – born in the 1940s the youngest of 3 – nana was the middle somewhere of 13 … I am the youngest of 6 with a twin who is 30 mins younger. 
My mum hasn't had it easy … born with a facial lump she was subjected to many a controversial treatment to find out exactly what it was or how to remove it. It has never been successful.  But the over the years it has reduced in size.  But I think it helped to create the person she is today.  I just accepted mum for what she is .. and when anyone made a snide remark I would give it to them. 
I was named after both Mum and Dads Mums....
Nana was Dolly Eileen and  dads mum died long before me was Eileen 
When she was 12 she was trampled by a horse which broke every bone in her body.  She raised us almost single handed with my dad away a lot because of the army.  With most of their early married years in Vietnam serving our country with popping kids out about every 18 months. The family moved 3 times before we arrived in Brisbane in 1979. 
with one of her beloved grandkids 
Mum and dad loved here … the warm weather in contrast with Melbourne’s cold weather.  Especially with mums mouth it was less achy.  So we settled here – she raised us sent us to catholic school in order to instill the same values that she grew up with. 
Mum and Dads Ruby Anniversary a couple of years ago...
Married on remembrance day 40 years  ago 
I have inherited my mums pale skin… my dad’s curly hair and sweet tooth.  My mums creative talent not a scratch came to me, she can knit, sew, spin wool, create and me nothing…I struggle to sew buttons on … but I did get my dad’s passion for adventure and travel. 
Mum with the first grandson...  I love his face in this one 
While she will never understand why I want to move overseas, yet she won’t fly due to a inner ear issue to understand why I love overseas so much.  I will love her always while she doesn't always support my decisions.

While I have made my peace with the fact that I will probably never have kids or get married.  She hasn’t …  god love you for that mum. She still hasn’t given up hope on that particular wish.

So thank you for being my mum. 

Special Thanks to my sister Acct Photography - because the 2 photos are hers because mum doesn't like to be photographed.